The REAL reason men don't ask for directions

Adult humor asks the question: why does it take a million sperm to fertilize one egg?  Answer: because they won't stop to ask for directions.

When I first heard this I realized that what made it so delightfully funny was that it went straight to the heart of why men hate admitting that they are hopelessly lost.  I have yet to meet a man who can admit that he is lost.  In fact, most men I talked to said even when they didn't know where they were going, they were not lost.  A statement which left ME completely lost!

In spite of the nagging of frustrated wives the world over, nothing seems to have been able to change this aspect of a man's nature, which got me thinking. Perhaps asking why men don't ask for directions is the wrong question. Maybe, just maybe, the correct question needs to be why should men ask for directions?  This led me to a scientific epiphany that I believe will earn me fame, fortune and maybe even the Nobel Peace (in marriages) prize.

The real reason men don't ask for directions is because they are genetically designed not to. Let me explain, by first going back in time, to pre-historic days and examine the roles between men and women in that era. Men were hunters and women were gathers.  

As gatherers, women were rather successful.  After all, they generally looked for things which didn't move about.  Bushes of berries generally tend to stay in one place, hence all the gatherers needed was verbal communication to give other gatherers on how to get from the camp to the harvest, (whilst pointing out interesting landmarks such as flowers in bloom along the way).  This could be why us ladies talk as much as we do, use our hands frantically when giving directions and remember landmarks more easily than we do street names.

On the other hand,  hunters needed a more complex understanding of their surroundings, because as they stalked their prey, they had to know not only where they were, but also were their prey was; unlike berry bushes, the hunter's prey had a pesky little  habit of running for its life.  Therefore, silence was vital  if they were catch their dinner, and stopping to ask for directions would have been counter productive.  The humiliation of being served yet another bowl of berries was simply not an option. So there it is, men don't ask for directions because they are genetically designed to seek out their destination in silence.

But seriously, in South Africa, asking for directions is downright dangerous, and sounds the alarm to all and sundry that you are a stranger in the area, something which end very badly for your family.  In all fairness ladies, when your man is driving round in circles, it could just be his way of keeping you safe!

Only through dogged determination and wrong turns can man make new discoveries, and without their errors we might not have the Discovery channel!   Think about it.  When Christopher Columbus had to explain to his wife that when he left home he didn't know where he was going and that when he got there, he didn't know where he was.  By the time he got home to tell her that he didn't know where he had been, she had packed up the kids and gone to her mother's.  This is probably round about the time someone invented maps.

But jokes aside gentlemen, next time you are lost, remember that it's costing you money.  Research in Britain shows that men drive an additional 444 kms per year trying to figure out where they are.  Of the 1000 participants, 26% men admitted to having driven for 30 minutes before seeking directions, while 12% flatly refused to ask for help.  By contrast, 74% of women ask for directions and 37% said they pulled over immediately realized they were lost.

So men, a word of advice, Google your destination or use GPS! It will save you time, fuel and loads of money.